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  • Rose Coker

Momentary

Reflections on the importance of learning and recognizing how our circumstances change over time. Hope for the broken moments of our lives.


Much ado about nothing! Have you ever had those words spoken to you, and it hurt like hell? Whether what is happening in life is nothing or something and worth "much ado" or not is really an interesting thing to ponder. How much influence and power should we grant to something that may or may not have a lasting impact. Big moments brought about by big emotions can often be a short term reality. The word “momentary” is defined as brief or fleeting. Why then do we give these moments and the emotions they elicit so much power over us? Our perception of tomorrow or the next 10 years is sometimes the result of a feeling brought on by temporary circumstances. Key word being temporary!

“PLEASE remember that the momentary nature of your feelings can change.They will evolve over time.”

My Father passed away suddenly and unexpectedly when he was only 59. I was 16. Things changed dramatically in our family the moment he took his last breath. I won’t elaborate on all that changed at this time, but you can imagine the despair, and heavy cloud of grief if you have ever lost someone who mattered to you.


The impact on me personally is complex. However one of the positives, which came from this loss, was the emotional learning and memory that things change over time. Not to infer in the least that this was a simple thing to move forward from. But one day I woke up and the heaviness of his absence was not as dark as it had been the day before. Life is constantly in a state of motion. Movement is always around us, and one helpful tip in recovering is to take steps to be part of that movement. However small, tiny or miniscule, just move something. Take some form of action, even if it is just opening the curtains to let the sunlight inside.


In short, look back at your own life and remember the times you felt your world had fallen into a myriad of jagged pieces. When it felt as though they would never be held together again. Even the smallest of examples can help hold you up through the forces of desperate feelings. Remembering that the horrible feelings you once had, changed over time, can be all the catalyst for hope you need to get you through todays wave of heaviness. Hang on to this and move something!


For whatever reason, my life’s path has intersected with a number of people who have taken their own life in moments or seasons of despair. I wish there was a way for a writer to insert the pause these words elicit within me. Impossible to write them without remembering the lives ended. Impossible not to wonder if they had never learned the temporary nature of many things, including hopelessness. Or if their hopelessness had lasted so long it was impossible to believe there would ever be even a light lifting of the fog.


I will sum up by asking you to do this one thing, when you are in the valley of despair and pain seems to overshadow all that matters to you, PLEASE remember that the momentary nature of your feelings can change. They can evolve over time. So do not make choices today based the momentary, which you cannot undo when the light begins to seep through the clouds. It is possible to choose to have even the tiniest amount of hope. Then build on it! It is more important that you take steps than how big those steps are. So do not judge yourself harshly if what you can do seems far less than you feel you should do.




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